मुस्कुराना है हुस्न की
दौलत,
मुस्कुराना ना भूल जाया करो
[Smiling is the charm
of beauty; do not thus forget to smile]
Do you want to be a person who
walks into the room and lights it up with your smile.
यूँ मुस्कुराए वो कि, कलियों में जान सी पड़ गई ।
यूँ लबकुशां हुए कि, गुलिस्ताँ बना दिया ॥
[When she smiled, the
buds became alive and when she spoke, it turned into a bed of flowers.]
Smile comes more naturally to
some persons than others, but like any other habit, smiling can become more
natural with practice. So much so that you can see some faces which almost
appear smiling. Smiling is a very powerful expression for the emotion of pleasure.
Smiling raises your own spirit as it makes other people around you more happy
& friendly to you. It even enhances the beauty of anybody’s’ face and in
particular the otherwise handsome or beautiful faces. It’s therefore said that.
मुस्कुराना है हुस्न की
दौलत; मुस्कुराना ना भूल जाया
करो
[Smile is the wealth
/ Charm of the beauty; hence don’t forget to smile]
How can one enhance the charm of
his/her smile or laugh, is the object of this article. Let us see how?
Step 1: Improving the charm /
look of your smile:-
Have you ever heard of an ‘Easy Smile’?
People with easy smiles break into a grin effortlessly, thereby making
everybody around them more friendly to them and happy with them. Generally
every photographer likes to capture candid pictures. So they ask you before
taking photographs, ‘Smile Please’. But smiles are fading away in our day to
day life. The stress levels are going up, timelines are getting shorter and our
patience levels have almost reached to zero. The surmounting challenges in the
life have killed the emotion of pleasure so how can it get manifested in the
shape of a charming smile. It surely appears as if smiling is an allegation on
the busy persons of the day.
In the words of Hamid Sahrai,
है सरापा दर्द मेरी
ज़िन्दगी, मुस्कुराना मुझ पे इक
इलज़ाम है ।
[My whole life is
full of pains; hence smiling is a blemish or allegation on me.]
But what we are proposing here is
not only smiling but improving upon the charm of smile. Let us follow the ideas
given below;
(A) Practice smiling a lot: -
When you practice a lot, smiling becomes easier and you look less strained when
you do it. Practice what you feel to be your most attractive smile. Soon your
confidence in your smiling will increase and you will start smiling without
first conceiving it i.e. spontaneously. Look at your photos smiling in
different ways. When do you look better, smiling with your mouth closed or
smiling with your mouth open? From which angle this smile of you, have lit up
your face the most? Which smile displays your other features to the best of their
charm adding to the beauty of your face? Which smile comes across the most
natural on your face? Practice before a mirror to emote that very smile which
you have liked the best. Practice to give it again and again until you start
getting it effortlessly and just in the right way. Getting to the inner feeling
which gives rise to that just smile will help you to replicate it without
looking into the mirror. Practice smiling at random strangers. Just make an eye
contact with any one and give that smile. Not everyone will smile back and some
may even look at your scornfully, but ignore it. But when someone will respond
to it with his/her own charming smile. You will feel immensely happy.
(B) Smile with Your Eyes :
A whole hearted smile will naturally draw in the eyes. This natural smile is
called Duchene Smile. It’s not something one can fake. It’s only when you
really feel like smiling that you flash a Duchene. The eyes are essential to
reflect a genuine warm smile. To get practiced for such smile, again you have
to stand in front of a mirror and practice smiling, while concentrating on your
eyes only. It may be helpful to cover your lower face and lip. Play around with
it a bit, and you will find that you can make your mouth smile where your eyes
are not smiling, and gradually your can also smile only with your eyes. When
your eyes do smile, remember how it feels, which muscles are working and how.
With little efforts, you will discover how to smile with your eyes at your will
on the basis of your feelings and the facial muscle experience.
(C) Maintaining good oral hygiene:
- People are sometimes avoiding to smile for the fear of exposing bad teeth
or bad breadth. Eliminate both these worries by keeping your mouth fresh and
clean. Brush your teeth and tongue regularly. Carry floss with you wherever you
go, so that you can clean up after dining and have breath freshener with you
ready to be used on need. See your dentist regularly for teeth check up and
cleaning, or even straightening them if required. This will help you in making
better impression and will also raise your confidence level for smiling. Keep
your lips also in great shape to prevent their drooping distortion.
Step 2: Smiling for Right Reasons:
-
While it is possible to smile
even when you are terrible, angry, annoyed, or when you are up to something
nefarious, the smile will to be genuine and it certainly will make people wary
of you. A genuine smile cannot be faked, hence, you should make your smile
genuine which will be certainly accompanied by a general glow, smiling eyes and
reassuring demeanour. This smile will make the viewer to feel more at ease in
your presence. The question however is, how to make your smile genuine. Yes,
you can make your smile genuine! Some suggestions are given below:
(A) Lead a Happily Life: In
spite of all the miseries and causes of negativity all around you, you can be
positive in your approach and can learn to ignore and avoid negative feelings
to dominate your mindset and as result, can live happily. One thing sure, don’t
smile when you are not feeling it, as there is no need for it. Rather it will
lead people to distrust you. A genuine smile comes from being happy, positive
and by drawing the happiness from your heart. You can be happy for many things,
such as, things going well otherwise, person you are talking to seems to be
happy, he has cracked a funny joke, the sun is very bright but cool, weather is
very fine, you about to eat some good food. There are so many reasons to be
happy, and to smile. Think about them, they are very good reason for a genuine
smile. These reasons are always there, even when you are not feeling cheerful
on some account. When you are confronted with a person or a situation, that
make you ambivalent and you are not sure to be solemn or smiling. Err on the
side of smiling. Even if you have only one reason to be happy while having
several other reasons not to be happy, use that that single reason to create a
genuine smile. This is called as being Bright & Sunny. So you should be bright
& Sunny.
(B) Smile out of Love and
Empathy for others; think about someone you love and you care for, or about
something you genuinely love to do. You should also learn to love what you are
doing. It’s much easier to produce friendly easy going, genuine smiles, when you
love what to do. When you love people around you and when you love the humanity
in general. You can have a benign smile on your face. Be happy and grateful for
all that which you have and see that smile comes far more naturally to you.
(C) Be playful and jolly:
Times can make all of us very serious. But one should see life as an adventure.
Be kind of gentle to yourself and allow the child within you to play. Being
playful and a bit childish can bring a smile to your face much more easily.
Step 3: Make the Smile Part of
Everyday Life:-
(A) Smiles attract attention!
but it’s a right kind of attention we are holding back our smiles out of the
fear that it will make people wonder about you or they will misinterprets your
smile. But these worries are unnecessary, so as you go about spending your day,
consider ways by which you can smile, as smiling makes your world a more
positive place Smiling at work or at any other professional occasions is not
going to make you unprofessional or non serious to your task; quite the
opposite, a smile will humanize you and will make you more approachable. People
will appreciate your recognition of their worth and of a job well done when you
smile. A smile makes you seem ‘real’, if
you are appearing to be vulnerable when you smile, accept that any form of
vulnerability suggested by a smile is what makes it such a powerful act. You
are opening up to others and people will respond better to that, than to a
serious, unmoved demeanour. Moreover, a smile accompanied by an assertive
personality will take care of any sense that people will use your smile to walk
all over you.
(B) Smiling can be very
difficult in many situations for example, smiling on demand can be difficult,
whether it’s for a photo or for the sake of keeping your mother happy when the
relatives you can’t stand are vesting your place. This is because you are feeling
self conscious or you lack a genuine reason for smiling. In these sort of
situations, smile need to come from your memories of good smiles along with a
little self kidding, or a joke working on your mind. On such occasion, you
should attempt smiling as you mean it. For a photograph smile 20% more than you
think you should. Smile wide to show the top row of your teeth. Don’t forget to
use your eyes also. You will get a photograph on which everyone will have a
approving and appreciating smile as they will certainly like it.
Step 4: Count the benefits of Smile and enjoy it:
In order to smile, it really
helps to know the benefits a smile can bring to your day. The following
benefits are bound to make you lean towards sharing a grin with others most of
the day.
A.
Smile improves your appearance:
According to Charles Gordy, ‘A smile is an inexpensive way to change your
looks. Who looks better? A person who is frowning or a person who is smiling? Who
tends to look better? Obviously the person who is smiling. So why you should
look better!
B.
Smile deals with your negative emotions:
Smile makes the things right again and say much more then the words can. If you
have goofed, said something less than complementary, feel lost or lonely or
down, a hearty smile can restore the balance. Smile leads to secretion of
endorphin.
C.
Smile creates an instant rapport and
ultimate trust for you amongst others: Smile lets other people know that
you are prepared to be friendly with them and ready to open up. If it comes in
response to a frown by someone whom you have harmed unintentionally then it
creates an impression that you are feeling sorry and are ready to make amends
with them if needed. A smile is greatest way of creating empathy among others
for you and it is both in one to one interaction as well as in a gathering.
Smiling faces at both the places are symbols of enjoying the company of each other.
D.
Even wrinkles are better when they are
smiling lines. Mark Twain has said, “Wrinkles should merely indicate where the
smile have been.
E.
Smiling is a good long term indicator of a
successful life and is also a long term predictor of happier and more
successful outcomes in every walk of life.
F.
Smile is a great defence mechanism. If
someone attempts to bring your spirits down, smile at him and it will
neutralise his negativity.
All
poets have spoken very highly about the attraction of a charming smile. In
particular, the Urdu Poets have devoted much time to this smile of the
beautiful women. To quote ‘Jigar Muradabadi,
हमने सीने से लगाया, दिल न
अपना बन सका ।
मुस्कुरा कर तुमने देखा, दिल तुम्हारा हो गया ॥
(I kept this heart of mine life long
carefully in my chest but it could never become mine, but you have seen it
smilingly only once and it’s now yours.)
‘Asi Ramnagari, another Urdu Poet
has put this slightly differently as under:
हमने पाला मुद्द्तों पहलु में, हम कुछ भी नहीं ।
जिसने देखा मुस्कुराकर, दिल उसी का हो गया ॥
(I have nourished the heart in my
chest for long but I am nothing. The heart goes to whoever sees towards it with
a charming smile.)
Actually without pleasures and smiles
the entire life is depicted to be a hell. ‘Niraash Jaunpuri, has very
succinctly narrated this fact in the following couplet:
शामिल नहीं है जिसमें, अपनी मुस्कुराहटें ।
वह ज़िन्दगी किसी भी, जहन्नुम
से कम नहीं ॥
(The life which doesn’t have
smiles at all is just like a hell)
In
the life both pleasure as well as sorrows could be there but if one gets
possessed by sorrows only even then he should smile by just saying that let me
smile, I have now become bored and fed up with this sorrow. This idea of a
smile even among adversities is coined in this couplet of ‘Hairat’.
ज़िन्दगी धुप छाँव है, ए दोस्त ।
ग़म से उकता के मुस्कुरा लेना ॥
The
philosophy in which persons ever suppress a benign smile has also remained in
Urdu poetry but it was only for those who lost the game of love. As ‘Adeeb‘, a
famous Urdu poet has narrated in the following couplet.
हमने इक हसरतें तबस्सुम को ।
कितने आँसू पिला के मारा है ॥
(I have controlled my desire to
smile by flowing so many tears)
One
cannot understand what is good in this philosophy. But in the game of love, its
being used as a weapon in general to impress the loved one, as depicted in the
following couplet:
मेरे अश्कों का करिश्मा तो देखिये ।
सामने वो मुस्कुरा के आ गए ॥
(See the charisma of my tears;
she came smiling before me to console.)
Well,
everything is said to be fair in the war and love but my philosophy is depicted
only in best couplet of Urdu poetry on the philosophy of life i.e.
ज़िन्दगी ज़िंदादिली का नाम है ।
मुर्दादिल क्या ख़ाक जिया करतें हैं ॥
(Life is the name of living with joy;
those who do not lead their life with joy are actually not worth living.)
I propose to end that:
हर किसी से मिलो ख़ुलूस के साथ, चार दिन की ज़िंदगानी है ।
हिर्स, गुस्सा, हसद, हविस, नफरत, सब फ़ना होने की निशानी है ॥
(One should meet with everybody
with the warmth of a charming smile as life is very short. Greed, Anger,
Jealousy, Desire and Hatred, all these are negativities which will kill you.)
So; Smile Please! As smile only
can behold your beauty and can make friends for you.
Pavan Kumar Sharma.
April 9, 2016 at 4:57 PM
Thank you so much and best regards, Thank you very much for this information.
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